Woman spews on Mr. Gator

Woman spews on Mr. Gator

As many of you know I’m big on tradition. When I go to Clearwater Beach whether it’s to eat at Frenchies or view the Hot Tuna on Pier 60 on a Friday night I have to stop at Dairy Kurl on the way home. Big Al, the owner, is a cow with the personality of a slug, but that boy can make a mean vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Butt I digress.

I was standing in line at Dairy Kurl a few weeks ago when I started to get a bit hot under the collar because the illegal immigrants in front of me didn’t know the difference between a soft cone and a sugar cone. Getting hot I decided to take off my shirt not even thinking that the woman behind me might have a sensitive stomach. I have this rather large mole on my back that my Doctor tells me is the shrunken head of my undeveloped twin brother Eric. The odd thing about this shrunken head is that it has always had prolific hair growth. As a young man I always kept Eric shaved but lately I have let the hair grow out.

I guess the lady found my brother Eric’s hair somewhat grotesque and tossed her cookies upon my muscular lower legs. I’m thinking about having Eric’s hair braided before the bathing suit competition in Cancun this summer. I told the lady that she needed to learn to embrace all God’s creatures and accept them, as they are grotesque physical features and all.